Explore Day 35

Day 35. Explore is over.

The past week has been ridiculously busy, which is why I haven’t managed to blog. There’s so much I wanted to talk about, but what with four final exams in the past three days, I had to do a ton of studying. Fortunately, though, it paid off, as I think most of my exams went well.

Once more, the end of exams is bitter sweet. It’s lovely to feel the stress evaporating, and to know that it really doesn’t matter anymore how to conjugate pouvoir in the imparfait, but it also means that Explore is done, and now comes the time for goodbyes. One of my best friends left this afternoon already, and I leave tomorrow at 6am, with almost 1000km of driving ahead of me. Luckily one of my friends is driving with me for most of the way, so I’ll have someone to talk to and keep me awake. :)

The past week—other than the stress of exams—has been fantastic. I’ll write another post sometime about everything I did last weekend, because I have some pretty gorgeous photos to share, but the week itself involved a lot of drinking tea with friends and rambling around Old Quebec. On Monday we went for crepes, which were delicious, then wandered around the city taking pictures. Tuesday I finally saw Star Trek (in IMAX. Starring Benedict Cumberbatch. Jealous yet?), Wednesday I studied, and yesterday was the big ending spectacle, a sort of wrap-up talent show and awards presentation.

In the end, Explore was a fantastic experience. I’ll admit that there were times near the beginning when I wanted to go home, when I hated Laval, and Quebec City, and learning French. But as I made new friends and explored the city and worked hard at my classes, everything began to fall into place. The past few weeks have been incredible.

At the same time, though, I think I’m ready to go home. As much as I’m sad that Explore’s over, I wouldn’t want to stay much longer. I want PEI, and my family and friends there, and my church, and my house, and Charlottetown, where everyone speaks English.

Still, I will miss it here. I won’t just miss my friends and the beautiful Old City; I’ll also miss my little res room, and the ugly Laval campus, and French grammar at 8:30 am. I’ll miss makeshift cooking in the decrepit old kitchens, or hanging my clean laundry all around my tiny room because I didn’t want to pay for the dryer. All the funny, annoying little things… those are the memories I’ll take with me.

Maybe when I get home I’ll write a wrap-up post about the benefits of Explore…etc… but right now my brain is just worn out. Too much French, too much fun… and too much left to do.

[Note: I’m posting this immediately after writing it, which means it hasn’t been edited. Errors are therefore to be expected.]

Explore Day 26: 24 Hours in French

Definitely gonna miss these girls. <3

[NOTE: This post was delayed several days because I was waiting for photos. I think today is actually Day 31...]

Day 26. There’s just a bit over a week left.

Yesterday was the hyped-up “24h en Francais,” which means that you can sign up to voluntarily immerse yourself in French: talking, writing, reading, listening to music, watching movies… everything has to be done in French. I personally find that having a special French day is a little ironic, since technically the entire program is supposed to be like that, but considering that there’s way more English spoken here than there really should be, it’s good to have one day of complete immersion.

At Chez Victor, one of Quebec's most famous restaurants.
(I'm on the left.)

The bizarre thing about spending a day in French was how easy it was. It barely inhibited my communication at all. It probably helps that by now my friends and I know each other well enough to understand each other even when our French is terrible, but even so, there was only once where I couldn’t get my point across and had to give up.

                                                                        

The most difficult part was not using Franglais. I’ve gotten so used to speaking French interspersed with English whenever I don’t know a word, but yesterday we wouldn’t even let ourselves do that. Luckily, I’ve got my basic vocabulary down, and if there’s something I don’t know, I can normally describe it enough for someone else to supply the word. Sound effects and actions also help a lot. :)

It's always a party at Chez Victor! :)

It was really satisfying to talk French the entire day, even when I was out at dinner (gourmet hamburgers at Chez Victor) or sitting having tea with my friends. By the end of the day French was completely automatic; if someone asked me a question I’d immediately respond in French, or if I wanted to say something, I’d just start speaking in French. My mind would also always try to word things so that I’d use the vocabulary I do have, rather than stumbling over the words I don’t know.

We don't really 'walk' anywhere....

It was almost depressing to start talking English again with my friends today. While it was definitely a relief to be able to ask questions or tell stories without constantly pausing and trying to conjugate verbs in my head, talking in English felt just a little bit boring. 24h en Francais was definitely a challenge, but one that I really enjoyed.

Explore Day 25

It’s day 25, with a mere 11 days left, and English and French are starting to blur.

I always used to wonder what language bilingual people thought in, but when I asked my bilingual friends, they always took a minute to answer. Normally they’d end up saying that they thought mainly in whatever language they were speaking in at the time, but that it really didn’t matter. Either language. Or both.

That didn’t make sense to me. How can you possibly think in two languages at once? Something as elementary and instinctive as thoughts should be clear, I assumed. Languages are binary opposites; it shouldn’t be possible to mix them.

Apparently I was wrong. Because after just three weeks speaking French, I’m officially thinking partly in two languages.

The weirdest thing is that there is no divide. I don’t think in French while I’m in class, and then start thinking in English when I’m hanging out with my Anglophone friends. While the dominant language does depend on what I’m doing, there’s always some trace of the other language in my thoughts.

Even stranger, the two languages mingle on a word-by-word level. A sentence I think will be half in English, and then I’ll abruptly switch to French. I’ll think, “How would you dit “happy” en Français?” or “I want un petit peu d’oatmeal et some veggies et les bananes.” It’s really odd when I catch myself talking out loud to myself in Franglais.

Talking to my friends in Explore is always amusing, since we manage to seamlessly switch back and forth between French and English. Most of our conversation outside of class is in English, but every once in awhile someone will throw out a sentence in French, and people will respond in either language, or a mix of both. Other times, when I go to ask a question, my mind automatically words it in French, or if someone asks me, “Can I have some sugar?” I’ll instinctively respond “Oui!”

The thing with learning French is that it doesn't end up becoming a mirror to English, a sort of reflection that can never really mix. Instead, it’s almost like learning new words in English. It’s a new set of vocabulary, and a new way to string words together.

I’m still far from bilingual, but it’s pretty cool when something as automatic and natural as thought starts happening in another language. It means that I’m definitely learning French… and that my thought processes might not be as deeply ingrained as I always assumed. 

Explore Day 22: The Awesomeness of Brooke, the Sweet Sarcasm of Grace, the Cunning of Julia, and Why Ellen should Die in a Hole.

More than a little windswept- but made it to the
top of Cap Tourmente!

Apologies for the post title. My friends wanted to be internet famous, so I’m trying to do my best to accommodate. :)

Day 22. I arrived exactly three weeks ago, and will be leaving in exactly two. Everyone’s started to realize that our time’s almost up, and that five weeks—which seemed so long when we first got here—is really not enough time to do everything we wanted.

St. Anne de Beaupre

It’s kind of depressing how just as I start really enjoying myself, just as classes start seeming manageable and I find a great group of friends, I start realizing just how short five weeks really is. I’ve only been to Old Quebec four times, and haven’t done some of the big touristy things, like visiting the citadel. I’m going to have to make a list of everything I still need to do, to make the most of my last two weeks.

Enough moping—time to mention some of the fun stuff I’ve been doing. Today has been pretty lazy, as I decided, for once, to sleep in, or to “fais la grasse matinée” as the Quebecois call it. I was supposed to go hiking today, but it’s raining, and I really needed a rest day, so I traded my place to someone in my class. Instead, I’ve been doing laundry, and my room is now covered with wet clothes hanging almost literally everywhere. I’m hoping they dry, considering the humidity has been ridiculously high recently.

The picture doesn't even come close.

The end of this week has been extremely hot (28 degrees Celsius, but feeling like 35 with humidity), but last week was a polar opposite. I went hiking (randonée) at Cap Tourmente, which I’m sure is a beautiful spot, but it was so cold that we had snow and hail, and the wind was so strong that we only spent about a minute at the top before heading back down into the shelter of the trees. We also visited the basilica St. Anne de Beaupre on our way back, which was absolutely gorgeous. Unfortunately, there was a wedding in the church that day, so we could only stand awkwardly in the back for a few minutes before running off to enjoy the many tacky tourist traps around it.

I had a ton of tests this week, which cut down on the fun stuff significantly, but I did have time to run down to Old Quebec for supper on Wednesday, which I mentioned in a previous blog post. Yesterday, my friends and I headed down to Old Quebec to do some window shopping and have dinner. It was sort of a post-midterm stress-reliever, and somehow I managed to eat a plate of mussels that was bigger than I was, and still get rather buzzed after just one cocktail. Whoops…

Omnomnomnom mussels. :)

At this point, it’s early afternoon, and I have to head off to a 25^th anniversary party at the church around supper, so I should probably stop treating today as a lazy Saturday and get to work on some of my devoir. I also have to do some editing for Divine Debutantes magazine (did I mention that I’m not just a columnist anymore; I’m also an editorial intern???) and should maybe consider cleaning my room.

Au revoir, peeps. 

Explore Day 18

(NOTE: I wrote this post yesterday, but I couldn't get it up until now due to technical issues with the photos)

I'm blogging this from an adorable little cafe in Old Quebec. A friend recommended it to me, and it took me awhile to find since I didn't have a proper map, but now I'm here, and I'm just waiting on food. Not sure if the waitress knows I'm Anglophone yet... If she doesn't, then she will soon enough, but that's okay. She hasn't started talking to me in English yet, so that's a good sign. Normally most of my conversations with Francophones involve me giving them a blank stare relatively early on, following which they start talking in English.

The cafe I'm in is called Chez Temporel, and it's tiny. By tiny, I mean there are eight small tables and a few stools. It's probably about the size of my living room back home. According to the google reviews, it's frequented by artiste figures... which is why I decided to blog here. If I'm gonna be here all by myself, I should do something remotely artsy, right?

It's a little weird exploring the city all by myself.  I was with a friend earlier, but she had to go back to her host family for supper, and since my bus transfer ticket lasted for another two hours I thought I might as well explore and search for this restaurant.

(The waitress now knows I'm not French, because I asked her what 'doggy bag' was, since I wanted to take my pizza back with me, but she's still speaking French to me, which means that my French is good enough so she doesn't feel the need to speak English, which I know she can, because I heard her talking to some other customers in English earlier.)

As I was saying, it's weird being here all alone, because I constantly have to be on my guard. Even in broad daylight, it might not be a good idea to go down a back street. It sucks being a female traveller, not so much even because it's unsafe, but because I've been told it's unsafe so many times that I've started to believe it. If I see a man smoking pot on a bench, or riffling through the garbage can for empty beer bottles, I automatically classify him as a danger.

I don't like having to be so careful. It's hard to fully enjoy a place, to sort of 'give myself' to it, if you will, when I'm constantly feeling threatened. And I shouldn't even feel threatened! Quebec isn't a dangerous city, especially in the touristy part in broad daylight. I'm not going to get hurt. I shouldn't be thinking that way. But because I'm a female, in a city I'm not familiar with, I am, just a little bit, afraid.

I suppose I should have a point to this blog post, like arguing how cities should become even safer, so that no woman ever gets assaulted or raped. Or maybe I should protest the gender stereotypes that make me believe that, as a female, I am weak.

I'm not going to say anything of the sort. I think Canada does a pretty good job of keeping its cities safe. And I know that 'weak female' isn't just a gender stereotype when it comes to a fight between 5’3", 95lb me and a 6'2" 220lb male.

This isn't a blog post about social change; it's a call for me to change. I don't need to be stronger, or for cities to be safer. I just need to realize that something doesn’t have to be 100% safe for me to enjoy it. I don’t need to be in a secure little bubble all the time. As a control freak, I need to learn to let go a little and relax. Yes, I need to be careful. But I don’t let the remote chance of danger spoil this beautiful city.

Explore Day 16

Day 16. Three weekends gone. It’s a little weird to think that I’ve actually spent more weekends here than I have left. On Tuesday, I’ll be officially half-way through.

I had a great weekend doing some fun things, and I'll blog about that tomorrow (well, hopefully...) Right now, though, I need to rant about French. 

On a positive note, I spent today virtually immersed in French, and it went relatively well. I go to a French-speaking church here, and, while I don’t understand as much of the sermon as I would like, I can read along with the Bible fairly well and sing the songs. After church, I talked to several people and actually had a couple lengthy conversations all in French. The people in the church are lovely, and so eager to help me learn French. One family even invited me over for lunch and then took me on a whirlwind tour of Old Quebec. My ‘tour guide’ didn’t speak much English, but whenever I was unsure of a French word she used, she was great at explaining the meaning.

In short, my spoken French skills are definitely improving, which is what I care about most. There’s still a lot that I don’t know how to say (and it’s so frustrating when I forget basic words like ‘older’ or ‘maybe’) but I can carry on a basic conversation. Whenever I get back to ‘normal life’ on PEI and meet French tourists, I’ll hopefully be able to make them feel welcome.

Negatively, though, I’ll be insanely busy this week, with a little test Tuesday, two oral exams on Thursday, and a grammar exam on Friday. Since my last post I’ve been working away, and the various tenses are starting to make sense, but still… there’s a lot left to learn. When I studied French during homeschooling, we really concentrated on oral skills rather than grammar; French class was watching The Lord of the Rings in French. So, I can talk to a francophone, but I have no idea how to conjugate etre in the infinitif.

I haven’t met anyone else with this problem. In most of my classes people have no difficulty in thinking of an IR verb which ends in U in the passé compose. However, when the prof describes pronominal verbs, they get all confused. I understand pronominals, but I don’t know how to use avoir or etre properly when forming the sentence.

It’s frustrating. I know I’m learning, but there’s so much I don’t know, and likely will never know. The Explore program will not make me bilingual.

At the end of the day, though, it’s okay. It’s okay that I don’t know how to correctly use the infinitive. It’s okay that the course is difficult. It’s okay that I probably won’t get an A on the course. Because I am learning. I’m speaking French, and understanding French, and even learning French grammar, no matter how slowly.  And, frankly, a 60% on a grammar test won’t matter if I’ve learned how to speak the language.

Explore Day 14

Sub-campus tunnels

Day 14. Three weeks remaining.

I’m basically 2/5^th of my way through the Explore program now, with two weeks down and three more to go. This means that I’m pretty settled in, with a great group of friends (who apparently read my blog… so I won’t be saying anything nasty about them) and a reasonable routine. However, it also means that the workload is dramatically increasing. Not that it was much before, with maybe an hour of devoir (homework) a day, but next week I have at least three major tests. So, right now my life is split between impromptu socials (like spending two hours having supper because we chat so much) and headache-causing school (trying to sort out the difference between the imperfect and the passé compose).

Laval's concert hall

I’ve been to a couple cultural activities in the past week. On Monday, my Quebecois friend had a clarinet recital for her CEGEP (the Quebec version of a sort of highschool/college transition) exam. It was lovely to hear my friend, and also to support the other young musicians. I miss the music scene on PEI.

Parliament (with a lovely stained glass
window depicting Samuel de Champlain)

On Wednesday, Explore ran a tour of the Quebec parliament buildings. It was fascinating because the clash of English/French cultures is so evident in parliament, from the architecture of the building to the way they run their government. Since the tour was conducted entirely in French I missed a lot of the details, but the building itself was beautiful and we got to see part of a session.

Salad. :)

This week I had my first “petit test de conjugation” on irregular subjunctive verbs. Since I had over-studied on Monday, I was pleased to find that I got 100% on my test. The mark barely matters, since the test was worth only 2% of my course grade, but it does mean that I understand subjunctives. Unfortunately, we’ve moved on to other tenses, like the imparfait or passé composé, and I find those much more difficult. We did some exercises today in lab, and I failed a bunch of them. Oh, well. I’ve been doing more research today after class, and it’s starting to make sense to me. Hopefully I have a good grasp of these concepts before next Friday…

New outfit, and a smiley on my conjugation test!

At this point, with the weekend finally here, I’m trying to get all my devoir done so I can enjoy some activities. Tonight some friends and I might go to the campus pub, and tomorrow I’ve signed up for hiking at Cap Tourmente. Judging from the information pamphlet, we’ll also be visiting a basilique, which likely means Sainte-Anne-de-Beaupré, one of the biggest cathedrals in Quebec. I hope I’m not misreading the pamphlet, because that church is on my Quebec bucket list.

And now I should probably get cracking on that homework…